Results tagged “humor” from onegoodmove

Links With Your Coffee - Monday


From the evil scientists at the U.S. Department of Energy's (DOE) Brookhaven National Laboratory we get some new research that will among other things help:

"To fuel and feed the planet for the future, we need new approaches," said Brookhaven scientist Safiyh Taghavi, the study's lead author. "Biofuels derived from plants are an attractive alternative energy source, but many biofuel feedstock crops are in direct competition with food crops for agricultural resources such as land, water, and fertilizers. Our research is looking for ways to improve the growth of biofuel feedstock plants on land that cannot be economically used for food production. What we learn might also be put to use to increase the productivity of food crops," she added.

Remember genetic engineering is a method not a product and no one is making the claim that genetically engineered plants will end world hunger. What they are claiming is that they can play an important role in working toward that end.

Machakos, Kenya - Fog shrouds the terraced hills, and a stream is swollen from the rain that fell overnight, but the damage of a drought that left 10 million Kenyans dependent on food aid is still evident. On many of the small farms, the ground is bare at a time when corn crops should be several feet tall.

"We had no maize because we planted and there was no rain," said Victor Mutua, who feeds an extended family of 15 from his 20-acre plot.

Poor small-scale farmers like Mutua are at the center of a battle over the future of global agriculture and biotechnology. Scientists are preparing to test in Kenya a genetically modified variety of corn that would be resistant to drought. The seeds are the product of a $47 million project funded largely by Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates' foundation and using technology and breeding expertise donated by U.S. seed giant Monsanto Co.

John Oliver's Literature Rodeo: Apocalypse Edition

Sarah Palin Arrested

NEW YORK—According to witnesses Sarah Palin hockey stick in hand, was waiting outside CBS headquarters when Katie Couric left the building today. There was a brief exchange of words whereupon Sarah high-sticked Katie knocking her to the pavement. Police immediately took Ms. Palin into custody.

The McCain campaign issued a statment saying that Sarah would be unavailble to the press since she would be spending the rest of the campaign in the penalty box. They assured the country that she would be ready to serve as Vice President come election day.

Demcorats objected to the penalty as excessive saying 10 minutes was more appropriate for such a minor penalty, noting that Sarah had failed to draw any blood.


Dave Allen On Religion

(tip to Frederik)

A Book For You

From the Afterword:
goodnightbush.jpg In 1946, George W. Bush was born; one year later, "Goodnight Moon" was first published. The toddler classic and the future president have been inseparable ever since. Go to the White House website, and you'll find that Laura Bush placed "Goodnight Moon" first on her list of books to read to and with young children. Her brother-in-law, former Florida Governor Jeb Bush, has called "Goodnight Moon" one of his favorite books from childhood. During President Bush's first term, the traditional Christmas gingerbread White House included a room made to look precisely like the one in "Goodnight Moon." Bush himself, while campaigning, referred to "Goodnight Moon" as one of his childhood favorites (along with a Carle's "The Very Hungry Caterpillar", which was not actually published until one year after Bush graduated college; the president's infancy was clearly an extended one).
The publisher has provided several copies of an unauthorized Parody of the book titled "Goodnight Bush" by Erich Origen & Gan Golan. I'm giving them away. You know the drill. And the winners are: blinky, dimossi, Susan, and mish.

I'll take all requests for the book left in the comments during the next 24 hours, or so, and then use a random number generator to determine the winners. I'll then ship the book at my expense to the winners. The offer is limited to residents of the U.S. and Canada. My apologies to my good friends in other countries but the cost of shipments to other destinations is simply too high.

Note:The offer is open only to registered comments others will be ignored. Please make it clear if you want to be considered for the book or are just commenting.

Comedian George Carlin Dies

A Special Tribute to George Carlin
Comedian George Carlin Dies in Los Angeles at 71
George Carlin, the Grammy-Award winning standup comedian and actor who was hailed for his irreverent social commentary, poignant observations of the absurdities of everyday life and language, and groundbreaking routines like "Seven Words You Can Never Use on Television," died in Los Angeles on Sunday according to his publicist Jeff Abraham. He was 71. Carlin's comedic sensibility often came back to a central theme: humanity is doomed. "I don't have any beliefs or allegiances. I don't believe in this country, I don't believe in religion, or a god, and I don't believe in all these man-made institutional ideas," he told Reuters in a 2001 interview.

Not That Funny

Yesterday I posted this thinking it was amusing, but judging from the comments It seems I'm the only one.
It was a tough night for Barack Obama. His staff was worried this morning when he failed to make a scheduled campaign appearance. The very junior Senator is fine; he was found hiding under Hillary's umbrella of deterrence.
Was it the very in front of junior you didn't like, or that you simply weren't amused. Okay then, how about this, funny or not?
Hillary got a big boost out of Pennsylvania but the experts say it's not enough. Hillary will need a miracle to pull it out, they say. Rumor has it the campaign is counting on the rapture, Barack is transported to heaven and Hillary is 'left behind' to beat John McCain.
Let's see if this polling software works?

Poll Answers