Mr. Trump is gone, killed in a blink, crushed by his ego at his own inauguration. It happened the moment he placed his hand on the Bible. No one else was injured, though Chief Justice Roberts gown was ruffled. The Justice reported hearing a loud swoosh and when it passed there was nothing but a spot of orange matter custard on the stage in front of him. The crowd was stunned but soon started chanting: clean him up, clean him up.
I didn't want to think about it and so retired to a nearby coffee shop where a cup of my favorite french roast calmed my mind. It was then I noticed the cup I was drinking from had a picture of the almost president and the slogan drain the swamp beneath. I took a picture of the cup, and tweeted: today the @realDonaldTrump disappeared, and the swamp began to drain.