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Lost In Translation

We need more maps.
related: Syntax Under Pressure from THE Language Log.

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Update: The today show gives her a redo.

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Countdown w/Keith Olbermann



proverbial map. lolz. Go Keith

It's so wonderful to see the cognitively-delayed being given a chance to compete in national pageants such as this. It's not much, but it's a start.

Please just tell me she didn't win...

That was painful.

that was soooo painful to watch...the fact that she is beautiful just makes it worse, its like a drooling retard who happens to be hot.

I bet she votes GOP

That was painful.....check this one out. This is the logical conclusion to the open door to 15 min. of fame that is reality television.....

Her answer went on for maybe 30 seconds, but it seemed like forever – it was hard to keep from turning way and covering my ears.

"...the Iraq and everywhere, like, such as."

The surgeon general needs to announce that silicone damages brain cells.

This is a rather young woman, not a media professional, who is in an artificial situation. I sympathize with her.

In fact, I doubt that Tony Snow could answer any better, and he does this almost every day, and gets paid for it.

She probably learned everything she knows about Q&A by watching Tony Snow in action!

I liked the comment about the hot retard


In a sense she answered the question quite well. As a perfect example of a contemporary product of the American public education system she clearly demonstrated why people can't find the USA on a map. "because they need to help Soth Africa."

Now that may sound dumb to you but remember, she's pretty and on TV so there MUST be something to what she said. Huh??

She probably just got a little spooked when she realized that she herself wouldn't be able to find the USA on a map.

... ummm, thanks but the Asian countries would like to decline your offer of free maps. In fact, after hearing that 1/5 of American's went to school in classrooms where they weren't in the presence of at least one globe of planet earth, saddens and bewilders me. To which school in the US should I be mailing off a world map to?

p.s. Was that Slater from Bayside High? The agony on his face... even Slater the ladies man would kick that woman out of bed.


In all fairness, it looks like she had the speaking equivalent of writer's block (which is about the worst thing to have when put on the spot like that)... perhaps because she was simultaneously trying to compose a message in Pageant-Speech and avoid saying the first thing that leaps to mind in answer to that question -- i.e. that at least 1/5 of Americans are fucking morons.

I remember when I had to take my orals for my MBA. I walked into that room and there sat five professors prepared to ask me questions for an hour. I didn't know what the questions would be. I had no idea that I would suddenly go into this incredible state of fright and shock. I felt as though my feet weren't even touching the ground and I could barely hear my own voice. It was like being on some strange drug or something. Afterwards, I was certain that I had flunked the orals. Luckily I passed.

Anyway, I sympathize with this little 17 year old. She's probably not as clueless as she comes across here.

She must feel like crawling under the carpet and never coming out with this kind of public humiliation. I just feel so sorry for her! snif!

Beauty pagents - like the skin on 7 day old tapioca pudding, the "top of the pile" in one respect, but not in a good way.

I'd do her.

Oh wait, that's crude... um...

I wonder what a eunuch would think of a 'beauty' pagent...

So nice to jump all over the sexy little girl. Must make people feel great. I would have had a lot of trouble answering that question sans snark. She's 17 and probably went to public school. She looks entirely average in every way, a perfect example of American youth in a disgusting parade of bad fashion and hair that should have been left in the 50's. I love it!

When you think about it, her answer is so classic. We're trained to look for a few idiotic key phrases that sound like good things to say.

At least she didn't say it was because of black people and Mexicans.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised or disappointed that someone would come to this bimbo's defense, but I am... I honestly thought that the crowd that comments on this blog had a bit more appreciation and respect for intellectual prowess than this.

Michael Moore gets bumped from Larry King Live, and the segment on "Sicko" is replaced by an hour-long special with Paris Hilton -- don't you think there's something profoundly wrong with that?

That's hilarious! She just made Letterman too!

Oh, they just repeated the clip because Paul had to make fun of her again. Now that's just mean.

Dzwonka, She's obviously not the brightest crayon in the box, but I can't help but feel sorry for her and I give her the benefit of the doubt for not being as stupid as she came across. I don't get a thrill from pointing my finger at someone like that and saying, "oh look how dumb she is!" ha ha ha.. I just feel sorry for her. It's sad that there are so many uneducated people in our country.

Anyway, stagefright can play awful tricks on one's mind. I've been in plays, given speeches before large crowds and have that experience that I described above...

Oh well, nevermind.. guess I should go along with the pack of wolves and laugh. Oh look at the dumb bimbo! LOL! I'm smarter than she is! Youpee!

Jo Ann, I agree with you completely. Furthermore, I find it sad that this made it onto youtube.

I just hope that the cliché "let this be a learning experience" will be just that for her and that she has enough fortitude to laugh it off.

As to a more realistic evaluation of American youth, see the National Geographic survey of their knowledge.

I don't know which would be more humiliating. Stangers making fun of me or strangers feeling sorry for me.

Beauty contests need to go back to swim suits, evening wear, displays of talent (singing, tap dancing etc...) and the like. Nobody expects these girls to be intellectual giants so why put them on the spot?

I'm sure if you asked the same question to a bunch of high school football players you would have some equally ignorant answers but nobody asks them - wonder why.

Hey, maybe this is all for the good. Maybe she will start eating chocolate, stop caring about her appearance, start reading books, choose an intellectually challenging career, and win a Nobel, and not the stupid peace one.


Real classy, making fun of teen age girls.

Until you folk have the balls to go on national tv and answer lame ass questions about other people's stupidity I suggest not ridiculing her.

She is hot. But thats all...

Guess shes nothing els than an a american meat hole. :p



Meat hole...


Nothing like treating humans like meat to get me going. God bless beauty pagents.

I can't wait for the White skin pagents, black skin pagents, tall pagents, and the ugly pagent.

Wow, you were born with good looks! Congrats!! You were also born into a family, social network, and society that think you should be rewarded for this twist of fate. Dubble grats!! On top of all that, you CHOKED!!! Oh boy, more fun for me. Next time I hope some clothing falls off by accident, or if you trip wearing high heals, that would be supper cool!

Gosh... 15 and she's done so much with her life...


You're right Syngas we expect too much from attractive women and everyone knows you have to be stupid to play football.

Syngas is right, some football players aren't very intelligent. Then again, the voters that elect them to office are even worse. Steve Largent (R-OK).

Ha, ha, stupid girl. Stupid education system in the US. Stupid rich people. Stupid beautiful people. Go Keith! (And not a single one of you Myles Hortons stood up to say, OK, I'll teach her. I'll try to fix what's wrong.) Sorry, I meant to type, Go Keith!! Let's keep throwing rocks from the smug seats in the peanut gallery!

Thanks Dar,

That video never gets old ;)

Considering that in this country the only industries women are paid more than men across the board are models and escorts - I'd say it's pretty clear what women are valued for.

This girl will do just fine in life even if she doesn't know where America is on a map or anything else. As long as she stays pretty life will be full of grand rewards and empty platitudes.

She's just filling the role society is telling her fits her best. She's never had to know "stuff", and nobody cares that she doesn't know "stuff". The fact that she's 18 and can't answer a question like that is a disgrace, but I don't blame teachers or schools, it's a bigger problem than that.

I find it completely disturbing how much value our society place on a person's appearance -- and how little value is placed on their minds.

There are countless TV shows about makeovers and plastic surgery -- and even supposedly educational channels like the Discovery and History channel resort to garbage about supernatural nonsense about ghosts and UFOs...

There's a constant celebration of the shallow and vacuous, while anyone caught breathing through their nose is tarred with the completely insane label "intellectual elitist."

As a perfect example of a contemporary product of the American public education system she clearly demonstrated why people can't find the USA on a map

So now that all the bitter, angry people have managed to dump their bile and hatred at someone more attractive and successful than them - or just spew a little good ol' stereotype-based America-hatred - let's look at the real story, shall we?

Held up on the Internet as the quintessential dumb blonde, Upton was an honor student in high school who played varsity soccer for four years. This summer, she traveled to Germany with an elite soccer team that placed second in a tournament involving teams from a number of European countries. In her junior and senior years, she was her school’s president of SkillsUSA, which describes itself as “a partnership of students, teachers and industry working together to ensure America has a skilled work force.” She’s taking a break between high school and college to pursue modeling opportunities. The question clearly caught Upton by surprise. She explained Tuesday that she was so overwhelmed by the moment she barely heard any of the question.

This all came out in a 'Good Morning America' interview in which the girl, in a very good-natured way, openly laughed at herself and explained how embarrassed she felt over the whole matter.

So while being painted by the whole self-hating American crowd as a role model for some perceived mass ignorance in our country, it turns out she's really an intelligent, good-natured, successful individual who just got lost in a moment and committed the cardinal sin of looking bad on TeeVee. Really, who needs mocking here?

She's more successful then who exactly? She a beauty pageant contestant... I'm sure her whirlwind career of opening strip malls and supermarkets will lead to fame and fortune... which begs the question, how do you define success?

If she's so intelligent, then maybe she should have SOUNDED intelligent. Forming a coherent sentence to convey an idea is the first part of that...

she is the one who chose to be a contestant, and she knew that she would wind up on TV... there's no self-hating required to say She Looks Like a Fool after that answer... it's one thing to give a bad answer, it's another thing to have given this incoherent pile of drivel.

She has to laugh at herself, it's the only way to save face at this point... and while she may be doing that publicly, I'm sure she's seething under the surface as to how stupid she looked (but hey, at least she's smart enough to know it).

The fact that she has the credentials she does, (the SkillsUSA bit) makes her look even more incompetent. SHE SHOULD HAVE HAD NOT ONLY A COHERENT ANSWER, BUT A GREAT ANSWER, seeing as that question was obviously tailored for her.

She deserves the ridicule being heaped on her. Remember, she propped herself up to be on TV, promoted herself as someone who should have an educated opinion on the problems of education system, and she's the one who babbled like a idiot...

what is sadder is that by being an idiot on TV she has made a name for herself...

And also try to keep in mind, there are people who join those organizations because they believe in them, then there are those that join them because it will look good on a resume (be it for work or school or a beauty pageant) I think her lack of articulation soundly illustrates her motives...

look at the talk shows lining up to parade her about. And who wants to bet we start seeing her in TV spots soon? At best this should have been a filler piece on America's Funniest Home Videos... instead, they've decided to make her a celebrity! Great role model. That's right girl's be pretty and dumb and try to do both and get on TV! And you defend this?

She struck me as absolutely Presidential.

Surely I'm not the only one.

i want to marry her.

George Dubya Bush:

"I'm going to try to see if I can remember as much to make it sound like I'm smart on the subject." --George W. Bush, answering a question about a possible flu pandemic, Cleveland, July 10, 2007

Okay, now lets take a look at the real facts for all you crazy liberal America-hating bleeding-heart no good two timing Pilates attending stoned slackers:

The eldest child of George Bush, the 41st president of the U.S. (1989–93), George W. Bush attended Yale University and Harvard Business School. After spending a decade in the oil business with mixed success, he served as managing general partner of the Texas Rangers professional baseball franchise.

You see. This, taken from the Encyclopedia Britannica for all you self-hating liberal wussies to see, shows an entirely different person. As it turns out he graduated from a very prestigious university and went off into the oil business. Don't all of you latte sipping (possibly unemployed) junkies feel a little dumb now that you realize it's silly calling Bush a dummy when in reality he's a very successful individual who later became president and just so happened to get lost in a moment and committed the cardinal sin of looking bad on TeeVee.? Really, who needs mocking here?


Well I do feel bad for the girl. She is cute too; must admit I didn't notice that the first time. Apparently, she went on The Today Show today and well, at least she doesn't take herself too seriously. And yeah, it was pretty funny that Dave played it twice last night on Letterman. That said, of course this isn't really that was good for a quick laugh......what's more sad is that the statistics comprising her answer are true. Anyway, they mention in the video that she actually placed fourth!!!! So I would think if she had answered that question a lot better, she might well have won. Not sure if that's scary or not.


I agree with Tea.* * i don't. What......ever!

Some Footballers on the Western (I.Q.)Slope?* We need Sports where you don't bang your damn' skull so damn' often. Boxing would be illegal for animals (sic). Football? Train dolphins, chimps, whomever, see PETA do their thang...The ancient Greeks had their "sports" a lot better balanced with their "mou[z]ika". And the Spartans were way ahead on Womyn's rights. Life begins at 9 mos. i agree. Erick is a throw back to the Ironic Age. I hope. i do too. What......ever!



*By the way, Syn-gas, why don't you come on over (to the Western Slope)? You'd feel right (at home), hear?

And how 'bout some of that NATURAL Gas? [Roan Plateau? You'd be a regular (solid) Roan-Plato. Flflttt(ulance).]

**Holy Shiite.

Soccer? Fuggidaboudit.

For all those coming (no pun) to her defense, isn't the south where beauty pageants function as a huge industry, with their debutante socials, princess contests, and child pageants... there is the possibility that she's been reared on beauty pageants, practiced grace and giving pat answers to adoring crowds all her life but I don't know, could be wrong. She might have been the exception, the disliked and homely girl who finds her inner beauty and discovers how strikingly beautiful she is and decides out of the blue to run the beauty pageant circuit all the way to miss teen USA. We're intellectual snobs and bad people to laugh at her when a history of overly-rehearsed sound bite answers culminates to the revelation that America has a severe shortage of world maps. sniffle

American honor student in high school... is that impressive? Our dunces would probably trounce them academically.



Japan, Germany, were Big Lib. Amer-I-can successes, sort of, The Soul-th, alas, was not. Freedom without opportunity as curse (Norm "Chomski")...

Mashall vs. Martial plan(s)...

Soul-th, Barracks "o' 'Bama"...

New New Orleans, or leans (on Big-tittied "Nanny State")...


A Non-Nanny State is a State worth fighting AGAINST, not for.

James Gang Redux...

Rid(d)ing again...

How's that for post-structualism?




... I don't blame teachers or schools, it's a bigger problem than that.

i'm quite sure this is true and i'd love to see someone smarter than me take a swing at that one.

also, nice one, erick. see, i don't see any problem with making fun of this chicks' mangled little soundbite, and seeing it as an example of whats wrong with american education, AND doing so out of love for the u.s.a., AND feeling sorry for her and realizing she just had a bad moment in the spotlight, could happen to anyone, etc. (i've certainly been there), AND seeing that if she plays this right she could turn a short appearance in a no-count beauty contest into some real p.r. mileage, AND that the clip was just really fucking funny, and would have been less so if she weren't blonde... see, there's a lotta angles, a lotta ins and outs, a lotta what have yous...

Thanks for the invite evil one,

I'd love to live on the western slope (I'm assuming Colorado) if there weren't so many Californians and Texans living there.


and jo ann, before you rip my head off, if that's not a "chick", i ask you: what is? :)


"evil one"

who said we wuz singular? Here, there, etc., are many...simultaneously incarnate. Chick it out.

Yeah, yeah, I know Jonathan... I laughed too... quietly. I just felt that there might be extenuating circumstances blah blah blah

Your head is safe. :)

However (oh no, here goes, Jonathan thinks to himself)... I kind of like the term "chick".

TBH I believe I can translate, on reflection. It goes something like:

"Why can 1/5 of Americans not locate America on a world map?"

""I think the proximal cause is simply that a lot of Americans don't have access to maps, but I think the cause of that is a general indifference of a lot of the American population towards the wider world. I think that's a terrible thing. I think raising awareness through the education system of the the humanitarian issues facing regions such as sub-Saharan Africa, the Middle East and South East Asia is imperative to safeguard America's future. After all 'no man is an island, entire of itself' nor no country either."

Seriously... all there.


wow, duncan, i'm impressed. really. blessed be the peacemakers, or whatever.


I kind of like the term "chick".

noted. girl, bad. chick, good.

Think of "chick" as being the hen's babies (like when we call our sweetheart "babe). But if we are to call females "chicks" wouldn't that technically make us "cocks"?

noted. boy, bad. cock, good.

Wait a sec... that didn't sound right..


crowns Duncan Miss Teen USA

/hands over sceptre

I love this girl, I would marry her tomorrow, she is the perfect woman

The funniest thing for me is that she's involved in something called "SkillsUSA: Champions at Work" which sounds like a breakfast cereal/resume padder.

Here's her redo by the way...

Someone said something really dumb on TV and made a fool of themselves. Boo-hoo. Lets all have a pity party for the bonehead.


If the bile inherent in the original replies to this didn't clue you in to the nature of the responders, then their hostile reactions to being corrected surely does.

But it got me thinking: where does this "1 in 5" number come from? Turns out the closest attribution comes from the random musings of Dr. Jon D. Miller:

Dr. Jon D. Miller of Northwestern says scientific illiteracy undermines citizens' ability to take part in the democratic process. Over the last three decades, Dr. Miller has regularly surveyed his fellow citizens for clients as diverse as the National Science Foundation, European government agencies and the Lance Armstrong Foundation.

So the guy asks some people some questions - or so he claims - then tells us his 'findings' without any scientific data or backing. The results happen to support a policy that keeps him employed, and are happily parroted by a bunch of people whose only unifying characteristic is pointless, bitter hatred towards an entire nation, based upon ignorant stereotype.

Seems to me that 4 out of 5 Americans can't smell the bullshit ... at least, on this site.


you all know that i believe the jews invented just about everything and self-hatred is no exception. we wrote the book on that one (many books, in fact. look it up- "self-hating jew" is a cliche).

one thing i think we're finally figuring out, though, is that, true or not, levelling accusations of self hatred doesn't contribute to unity, in fact quite the opposite, and thankfully i'm seeing less and less of it as the years go by.

so what i wanted to say to you, t4t, is that, as i've said before, the main thrust of most of your posts seems to be that "liberals hate america". but i also see a minor undercurrent of "devisiveness is bad.let's jettison the extremist views and meet in the middle". (giving you the benefit of the doubt here).

so take a tip from been-there-done-that: if you would really like to see unity (and you do, right?) stop slinging those accusations around. even if there's some truth to them.

believe me, i know that the self-hating jew (and the self-hating liberal american, too) is a real phenomenon. but it does no good whatsoever to call them on it, especially in public. that is, if unity is what you're after...

also, sometimes i just feel like you're peeing in the pool. from the diving board, as the joke goes. some of us are americans. and liberals. and we don't hate america, and we resent that accusation being used constantly to quash differing opinions, which has been turned into an art form by the current administration and is one of this blogs' pet peeves as far as i can tell. and rightly so.

i'm trying to be gentle. jon stewart said it better. "please, stop. stop hurting america."

Tillerman. You're boring.

But it got me thinking: where does this "1 in 5" number come from? Turns out the closest attribution comes from the random musings of Dr. Jon D. Miller

Random musings? Are you trying to be funny? Here is part of Dr. Miller's bio from his page at Northwestern...

Detailed research description: Jon D. Miller serves as the Director of the Center for Biomedical Communications. Jon is a Professor in the Medical School and in the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University. Trained as a political scientist, Jon brings the social science skills of survey research and quantitative analysis to the study of the public understanding of science and technology. For two decades, he has designed and conducted the biennial national studies of the public understanding of science and technology for the National Science Board, published biennially as Science and Engineering Indicators. His work in the measurement of scientific literacy and attitudes has been replicated in more than 20 countries.

Professor Miller also serves as Director of the Longitudinal Study of American Youth (LSAY) and as Director of the International Center for the Advancement of Scientific Literacy, both located at Northwestern University.

TeaForTheTillerman wrote:

But it got me thinking: where does this "1 in 5" number come from? Turns out the closest attribution comes from the random musings of Dr. Jon D. Miller:

Really? Whose attribution? Yours? Nowhere in that New York Times article you quoted, but conveniently neglected to provide a link to, does it say anything that would lead one to believe that Miller was the source of the premise of the question asked of the contestant. Keep in mind that the 1-in-5 claim is a very specific one, probably the result of a test administered to a sample of the U. S. population. Now contrast this with the more general statement of Miller, that only 20 to 25 percent of Americans are "scientifically savvy and alert."

Also, what does being able to place/identify the U. S. on a world map have to do with scientific illiteracy, the subject of Miller's thesis?

Here is the link to the NYT article for anyone who is interested:

Oh, come on! the "redo" is in some ways more mocking than what Olbermann and Letterman did. I mean, she had some days to prepare her answer, and still did it pretty stupidly. And for those people who are accusing us for pointing stupid because we're somehow not on TV and are jealous or something like that, eat it. If we can't point out stupid when we see it, then how can people stop being stupid?

And even more so, if it's a supposed "role model" for some misguided teenage girls (and maybe more misguided boys) then it's pretty much a moral imperative to ridicule them.


The bloody president sounds like that young woman when he goes off script, for the same reason. There isn't all that much in their heads. They are, after all, typical Americans raised on sound bites and slogans.

She did not have a clue what she was talking about, had never given it a thought and may not be able to find the US on a map herself.

It is really hard to ab lib with an empty head besotted with beauty tips, movie magazines, and the belief that looking good is all you need.

The beauty pageant thing is a life style for the people involved, she has been in pageants since whe was a child. While being on national TV ups the tension the real problem was that she simply had nothing to say but couldn't quit talking.

This isn't about that particular individual, it is about the consciousness of main stream USA.

Re pysical attractiveness, I personaly can't fathom trying to get that close to a Valley Girl. There is nothing to talk about either before or after the event. Great fantasy stuff as long as the fantasy doesn't involve trying to relate to her as a complete person.

In reply to both of the videos:

A simple "I don't know, there could be many reasons" would have saved her a lot of this sillyness.

Unfortunately for this girl, her redo was actually worse since she had a lot of time to come up with a better answer than that. She is young and pretty and I'm sure she will get over it (as any guy who dates her). Still, what is worst about her redo was the "hey!" and clapping from Today's hosts. Like she nailed the question. It is so embarrasing for this journalists…if you can call them act like morons.


""I think the proximal cause is simply that a lot of Americans don't have access to maps, ..."

The Egg came 1st, not the chick. But thinking "in pictures" is worth a myriad words, not "aut", art-, rather, tistic. Maps, a Globe, is a sort of chalkboard on which one chalks up experience, (or files it or, alternatively, "afuera de locacion" somewheres).

Tea, bring your friends over, or are you ashamed of "us" (and your being here)?

Larry Craig, 3 o'clock...

Valley Girls Rock.

Around the globe tonight

Your hair's pulled back just a little 2 tight...

(why is this a class signal?)...


The Song came 1st...

not the words (chick it out yourself ignoramo).

etc., ad inf...


Wait, wait, wait!

Ok public speaking is hard and all, but did you lsiten or watch the full Today show interview. Even in a relaxed setting she seems to be lacking some intelligence. Her talking with the host show how mind-numbing any conversation must be with her.

I don't know about others, but I find myself standing up for her because no woman deserves to be called a "meat hole" by some one who pretends to be an intellectual. Ignorance is forgivable, but being a jerk is just a bad personality trait.

That sort of dehumanising terminology says nothing positive about the speaker. That's a fact.

This story has some importance but it gets lost in the total focus on the "pretty girl" part.

When el presidente goes off script he sounds just as bad and just as ingnorant as this young woman. That is important.

This young woman and sooo many like her are the products of an educational sytem is is failing. That is important.

The clip is funny as hell but I would have thought we could have gotten beyond the blond jokes by now. I love dumb jokes but there is more to the story, just beyond where the sexist humour stops.

"meat hole" ain't even humourous.

The story will even have a silver lining if this young woman suddenly finds herself inspired to learn to read anything heavier than "Seventeen" Magazine.

That sort of dehumanising terminology says nothing positive about the speaker. That's a fact.
-- ThomasMcCay

While I agree with the overall sentiment of your post, I've gotta take issue with that one statement...

I don't think it is dehumanizing to call this young lady a bimbo -- or a cum-receptacle or meat-hole, or anything of the sort. It is humanizing to do so.

Because what makes us human, is our capacity for reason. Our intellect. Our ability -- and aspiration to learn.

The only dehumanizing aspect of this story is what motivates the people who are willing to give this bimbo a break:

1) They think she's hot, and they'd like to fuck her. 2) They think she's hot, and they'd like to be like her.

It would be dehumanizing to berate the winner of a spelling bee for being unattractive. But it is entirely humane to berate a beauty pageant for being an idiot.

I don't think it is dehumanizing to call this young lady a bimbo -- or a cum-receptacle or meat-hole

If she were your daughter or your sister, you wouldn't like it.

She may not be that bright at the age of seventeen years old in a particular situation, but to attack her in this manner is low class.

3) They have compassion and and a little bit of class.



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