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I've Never Said That I'm Perfect

Update video of Ted Haggard admitting he purchased meth Man claims 3-year sexual relationship with pastor
DENVER - A gay man and admitted male escort claims he has had an ongoing sexual relationship with a well-known Evangelical pastor from Colorado Springs.

Ted thinks he's just like John Kerry, misunderstood.

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This is the same Ted Haggard that Dawkins interviews in the Root of All Evil
Related Story: Jeff Sharlett on Haggards Downfall
I was relaxing this afternoon, watching an episode of Big Love, the HBO series starring Bill Paxton as a Mormon hiding his polygamous life, when I heard from from "The Peter Boyles Show" in Denver: "Your buddy Ted Haggard's in a shit storm."
The "buddy" part was ironic -- since I wrote about Ted Haggard and his church. . .
The Denver Post updates the story.



I can't remember Jon Stewart's joke exactly, but he said something about it seems like all these anti-gay radicals have one thing in common -- they're all gay!!!!

What's with all the rationalizing if he says the allegations are simply false?

A prostitute said it so it must be true! I bet you all believed the rape alligations against Clinton too.

Is OGM insinuating that being gay makes this pastor evil? I think so, and I agree with OGM. Like Mark Foley this pastor is evil for his homosexuality

Why is it when I look at Pastor Ted, I can't help but think: "This guy has had a man's dick in his asshole . . . many, many times . . ."

I live in the springs, and I seen Ted trickin down on the block just last week

A prostitute said it so it must be true! I bet you all believed the rape alligations against Clinton too.

I bet you believed Bush when he said Iraq had WMDs and was involved in the 9/11 attacks.

I bet you believed Cheney when he said the insurgency was in its death throes.

Goddamn, I could play this silly game all day.

Bill Maher said something similar about this. To the effect of, those who act the most "normal" and appear so "perfect" are the ones who are always the greatest sickos. Believe his example was of a man (believe it might have been a Congressman) who was vehmently against Plan B pill, and was a gynocologist. His wife I believe divorced him -- or simply complained -- that he was analy raping her. And his excuse was "he was missing."

Thanks Mat,

So you wouldn't believe Bush without proof and you wouldn't believe Chaney without proof and you wouldn't believe Tawana Brawley without proof, why in Darwin's name would you believe a prostitute without proof? Wouldn't that bring you down to the level of Hannity and Limbaugh in your reasoning?

i love the caveat, "with a man in ... Denver." please this dude is teh posterchild for gay and twisted. why else is so he so vehement in opposition of equal rights for gays, or hell, even just following the same Scripture he so wrongly quotes....

Dawkins was interviewed on Minnesota Public radio this morning. He was the guest for the full hour. LINK.

Interesting, if true. The form of his denial certainly was odd: "I haven't had sex with a man in Denver...and I've been faithful to my wife." In Denver? Has he been a sodomite somewhere else? (heh, heh) Seriously though, I won't be surprised however this turns out, but I doubt I'll keep track of it if you don't post it, Norm. Amusing though it is, the only interest I haave in gossip like this is in the (so far unproven) hypocrisy of so many of these gay-bashers...and to think that I once thought the "self-loathing" theorists were gross exaggerators. Boy, was I wrong.

Whatever happens, Ted is either a closeted/hypocrite fundamentalist whacko or garden-variety fundamentalist whacko.


Why don't you ask the Denver Post about the proof? Apparently they have e-mails, voicemails, and other evidence linking your "unreliable" male hooker to Rev. Haggard.

In fact, enough "proof" to go public with the allegations.

Perhpas that's why Haggard stepped down today.

Having lived in Denver for several years in the past, I can assure you it doesn't take much proof for the Denver Post to publish accusations against conservatives. I would expect any head of an organization to temporarily step down while they are at the center of an internal investigation. Who would have any confidence in an investigation when the target has the power to hire and fire?

Ahhh, poor persecuted Psuedo Conservatives, clutching their pearls and wringing their hankies because of the unfairness of it all. Wake up and smell the hypocrisy mate, you reek of it...

Wouldn't that bring you down to the level of Hannity and Limbaugh in your reasoning?

Oh answer this silly question:


I would expect any head of an organization to temporarily step down while they are at the center of an internal investigation. Who would have any confidence in an investigation when the target has the power to hire and fire?

Not if the allegations are merely based upon the slanderous remarks of this gay hooker. Seems a bit drastic to make Haggard step down over just that. However, both news sources involved have indicated the e-mails & voicemails submitted by your "gay hooker" seem plausible enough to move forward with publishing the story. And THIS is why Haggard stepped down, because I am sure he's probably realized he's done what the "gay hooker" claims.

This is the new era of slime media. The right-wing press went orgasmic over Kerry's botched joke to "prove" that deomcrats hate the troops (a quick congressional voting record check on military family support and veteran afairs by Democrats disproves this rather quickly).

I hope this is true so I can have a good belly laugh. Although I feel sorry for his kids, wife, etc. Public scrutiny is a real bitch these days.

"This is the new era of slime media." - I knew we would find something we can agree on.

I actually wrote a short blog about the Kerry thing. It might surprise you.

How do you write in italics in here?

Syngas, you seem to imply that a prostitute is less credible than a preacher. I don't know what you're basing that opinion on. Both are prostitutes, only the sexual prostitute is honest about it.

I'll be interested to see if you're still here in a week from now when Haggard finally pulls his Jimmy Swaggart "Lord, I have sinned against you" crying jag confession.

Promise me you will come back and contribute to this discussion next week.

This guy is not on my list of "friendlies" however, what he is stating or saying is the kind of "reasoned response" that I would wish that other (or should I say many) persons would consider using in "attacks" against them or their "issues"... No, I am not a repug, righter, or angry anything... I am merely observing and commenting. No excuse, no equivocations, no other slander... geeze, what a concept and approach. I do not like appreciate his rabid sanctimonious religious crap... but and or however, come on... it is media... this is a clue to presentation....lessons here…As a responder, he’s on cue… (not the message).. but, presentation style and demeanor, (we could use a bit of demeanor, could we not).. I think that is very very important that we pay attention to his delivery (even if we disagree with the words)…

You guys are stupid to believe something without any kind of evidence. Won't you all be embarrassed if you sat there acting as foolish as you are now if the gay guy admits to having lied about this?


Guys, there are two very valid reasons for not believing Bush and Cheney -- first, their stories never held water in the first place, and second, they've been proven to be liars time after time after time.

As opposed to this prostitute... discounting what he's saying just because he's a prostitite is an ad hominem attack. So what if he's a prostitute? Is he lying or isn't he? Has he been taking it in the rear for Ted or not?

As for his standing down during an investigation... why? For starters, this isn't a criminal investigation, so he's not being held in a jail, thereby necessitating his standing down. At worst, he's a hypocrite and a con man, but it's not like he's been accused of raping babies or preying on people over whom he holds some sort of authoritative influence (coughFoleycough).

But his congregation and followers and the other churches certianly ought to be investigating this claim -- unless, of course, they're all OK with it.

If the prostitute really has letters and a voice mail message, as he claims, then these need to be made available to folks who can ascertain the truth or falsity of the claim.

"I've never said I'm perfect..." Doesn't sound like much of a denail, though. "I'm faithful to my wife." Does that mean she knows and is OK with it?



Please join me in the Onegoodmove Forum under 'Religion/Atheism' and go to the post TED HAGGARD to place your bets on whether you think he's a Top or Bottom.


Haggard Bashing Gays Hypocrite

These kinds of "scandals" are so sad. Of course he's a hypocrite. To some degree we're all hypcrites. If he didn't do this gay thing, then he's being sorely abused by enemies that are essentially political. If he did do it, he will be under enormous pressure to deny it because a candid confession would ruin him. And hey, if boinkin' a hooker didn't ruin Jimmy Swaggart (sp?) then it shouldn't ruin Ted Haggard. Furthermore, moral leaders (such as they are) are only lauded by their followers as exemplars of morality if their followers are complete motherfucking jackasses. If Ted Haggard is brought low, I hope it's because he's a numbskull who would better serve humanity by going off into the woods someplace and pounding sand up his ass. Not because he's a simple little poofter afeard of being outted in front of his wife and kids. That is so, so lame.

When I saw the first headline proclaiming "Evangelical Leader caught in Sex Scandal" my first thought was "Oh please let it be that slime Haggard". But I couldn't believe the good luck when my hope proved true.

Any man who actively preaches intolerance towards gay people, who actively vilifies us, who actively spreads lies about us, who actively indoctrinates children to see us as inferior... well that man deserves the kind of public humiliation that Haggard is now experiencing. Haggard deserves to be shown as the Great Hypocrite that he is.

But he's not just a lying hypocrite, he's a man that did grave spiritual violence against all gay people and their families. He's a man that used the seductive power of the pulpit to strengthen a barbaric immoral irrational hatred of gays and all based on that most repulsive of barbaric immoral irrational books: the Bible.

May he suffer the most miserable horrific lengthy public humiliation possible for he deserves nothing but utter contempt from those of us who've had to suffer at the whims of men like this.

If I had the opportunity, I would not hesitate to spit in his face.

Um, the guy resigned. You don't resign if you ain't done it, folks.

And apparently there are voicemails and letters, so there is proof of some sort.

He's already a hypocrite by definition, since he prays in public.

Matt 6:5-6 5 "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Gay or straight this guy always seemed to to give off a slime feeling for me O_o like those villains in Babylon 5 that would come in a for an episode and you just knew they were evil the moment they stepped on screen >.< shudder I'd say I hope they get rid of him but another charismatic nut job would just rise up to fill his place...

Isn't this the guy that kicked out Richard Dawkins (in "The Root of All Evil?") because Dawkins insisted that evolution was true and thus was calling him a monkey?

Is OGM insinuating that being gay makes this pastor evil?

If the charges are true then I'm accusing Ted Haggard of his hypocrisy. I would further say that I wouldn't be in the least bit surprised if the charges turn out to be true.

I love the smell of schadenfreude in the morning.

I may never stop grinning.


Seamus7, you are SO right.

Looking at that video, I saw none of the righteous indignation that I expected to see, if the guy wasn't a found-out closet case. He looked more stunned by the turn of events, than anything. If he's half the preacher he says he is, he should be familiar with the verse that says that "everything that has been done in the dark will be brought to light". (wish I could remember where that is in teh bible, but it's been a looooong time since I've read it.

It ain't liberals who have a problem with hot man-on-man sex (consenting adults of course). If it turns out this guy is playing a rusty trombone* I wonder if he'll still have Bush on speed dial?

*Some sort of gay thing you'll have to google.

This is interesting. I wonder if he would have stepped aside so graciously if midterm elections weren't around the corner. I wouldn't be surprised if he was a gay man.
I guess the investigation will be telling.

Tell ya what, he resigned (temporarily or otherwise) because he did it. I grew up being a part of these smug self-righteous hypocritical repressed creeps. Pleased as punch that it showed them for what they are.

Oh, and for those seeking 'proof' - go on over to Americablog with the link to Channel 9 for voice mails, etc.

This is the guy who had meetings with Bush every monday? Is this another for the november surprises?


Solstice comes early this year, my friends.


"'We'll need to process that,'" sez Ted.

Teddy, baby, try processing this: you got your cities crossed, dear. I believe the slogan goes: "Whatever happens in VEGAS, stays in VEGAS," NOT Denver!

I can already hear the far-off sounds of the LAW AND ORDER writing staff, watching this video and scribbling furiously.

I guess my only regret is that this is Ted it's happening to and not Rove or Rummy. It's the only thing keeping the upcoming election from being a surefire Democratic lock.

There may not be any more major scandals that will be uncovered on the GOP side before next week. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed...

Syngas, Sandra and all the others who feverishly defended this hypocritical worm, what say ye now?

I doubt you'll say anything. In fact I doubt you will bother to make any more posts.

Now that he's STARTING to come clean, tell us again how he is a victim of that evil homosexual. Tell us again about how it's just a political ruse. Tell us again what a saint Haggard is.

Hello? You still there?

(...Sound of crickets chirping...)

The accusor failed the polygraph test this morning. In the name of fairness, I'm confident Norm will post a link to update you all.

dear leftbanker, you should google "(or wikipedia" or "urban dictionary") the term yourself and you will see it is not a "gay" thing as you have stated...

From Wikipedia...

The rusty trombone is a sexual act performed by two individuals, one of whom is a man. The man is typically in a standing position with his knees and back slightly bent and his feet at least shoulder width apart in order to expose the anus. The other partner typically is on his or her knees behind the man and performs anilingus while reaching up beneath the testicles or around the body to masturbate the man, mimicking the motions of a trombone player. The act is defined primarily by the physical orientation of the partners and the combination of anilingus with penile masturbation, however other positions and variations are possible.

Dear Toner,

I never say "gay thing" as if it is a bad thing but I already play the piano. Knock yourself out. Where would we be without Wikipedia?

The accusor failed the polygraph test this morning. In the name of fairness, I'm confident Norm will post a link to update you all.

I just did a google search and don't see anything. If you have a link post it here in the comments.

Hmm...I read the link, Syngas, and found two interesting items:

Item #1: The polygrapher, John Kresnik, said the results "indicated deception" but he also believed the results may have been skewed because the accuser, Mike Jones, was suffering from a migraine and didn’t get much sleep...

Item #2 KUSA-TV reported Thursday night that a voice analysis expert compared a voice mail recording provided by Jones to a recording of Haggard's speech and that they matched.

Hmmm. Hmmmmm.

Hey Syngas why didn't you mention that the person who administered the test didn't think it was accurate. That's is dishonest, shame on you.

The test administrator, John Kresnik, said Jones' score indicated "deceptions" in his answers. However, Kresnik said he doubted the accuracy of the test he administered because of the recent stress on Jones and his inability to eat or sleep, according to KHOW producer Greg Hollenback.

Oh yes and Syngas, I just heard on MSNBC that Haggard has admitted buying meth. He says the voice on the tape is his. Now remember yesterday he denied knowing him. So at the very least he is a liar. What are you betting that there may be more revelations reflecting badly on Ted Haggard. I know he's just a sinner, and oh yes a hypocrite.

And this item hot fromthe AP Wire:

But New Life Church's acting pastor later said Haggard had acknowledged some of the accusations were true. In an e-mail to congregants, Ross Parsley wrote that the church's four-member board of overseers had met with Haggard.

Read more here.

Hmmm. Double-hmmmmmmmm.

Which accusations were true? The gay sex? The meth?

Inquiring minds wanna know.

My response to the polygraph results is the same when the guy volunteered to take one:

Polygraph machines are a myth. Their use is pseudoscientific voodoo. Some people don't have the requisite physical reaction when they lie; others have those reactions when they are not lying due to anxiety about the process. The results are then interpreted in an non-blinded fashion, leading to an additional confound in the form of confirmation bias on the part of the interpreter.

If you need to prove something, provide corroboration. Don't volunteer to take a lie detector. Volunteering to take a lie detector is showmanship, not evidence. Stop feeding public belief in this hokum.

"And hey, if boinkin' a hooker didn't ruin Jimmy Swaggart (sp?) then it shouldn't ruin Ted Haggard."

Swaggart passes the "live boy or dead girl" test. Haggard, if these allegations are true, would not.

No offense, Toner, but that was the creepiest and least useful fact checking in the history of fact checking.

It sucks to admit it but you guys (and gals) were right this time. I hope you all can forgive me for doubting your intuition. I would like to thank Norm for allowing me to post my comments and will honor his wishes should he ask me not to return.

Meth and massage and no sex?


His counselor is advising Mr. Haggard to admit to nothing until they have hard evidence.

Here you have: 1) a gay hooker is planted in the White House news room by a wealthy Republican -- 2) a gay Republican Representative from Florida gets way too chummy with adolescent boys -- 3) A republican holier-than-thou evangelical rip-off is outted -- And they do nothing but rationalize with excuses and justifications beyond logic.

But Bill Clinton leaves a stain on a blue dress and then guess what happens -- ?
When will the nation finally realize the Republicans are not the bastians of honesty and integrity they claim to be.

I would like to thank Norm for allowing me to post my comments and will honor his wishes should he ask me not to return.

Why would you think I would ask you to leave? Being wrong sometimes is something we all experience, and certainly doesn't violate any of the rules here.

Hopefully Maher, Stewart, Olberman and company will nullify Haggard's damage with their own hate filled words.


They hate the hypocracy, not the Hypocrite.

I think the Hypocrite is an asshole worth making fun of and holding up to public account though, does that make me hatefull?


If it is hate-filled words you are looking for then I would direct you to these conservative book titles:

The Enemy at Home: The Cultural Left and Its Responsibility for 9/11

Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism

Godless: The Church of Liberalism

Deliver Us from Evil: Defeating Terrorism, Despotism, and Liberalism

Bankrupt: Why the Democrats are the party of moral and intellectual bankruptcy

Haggard hasn’t done any damage to me. If he wants to do crank and blow some male whore, that is no business of mine, but I’m a godless liberal. I’m sorry if one of your heroes has fallen but next time choose them more carefully. Why do I think that Norm’s hero (and mine), Richard Dawkins, will never be caught up in this kind of disgrace? I think that religion offers a pretty flimsy intellectual foundation. Don’t worry, Haggard be forgiven by his flock and he’ll be back to damning homos to eternal hellfire before this news cycle is over.

I had never heard of Ted Haggard before I read about him here. Hardly a hero of mine. I agree there is some pretty nasty stuff in the books you mentioned but thankfully for the Republicans, very few undecideds actually read political books but they do watch comedy central and they may accidentally land on MSNBC when Keith has another conniption.

Hey Captain,

It's fine that you think Haggard is bad - I'm pretty sure God isn't real happy with him either. What I am hoping for is that Maher and Stewart won't be able to resist bashing all Christians because of what Haggard did. That would be an immense gift to Republicans.


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