Well I feel so much safer knowing that nobody will be slapping his pb&j onto the hull and blowing a sammich shaped hole in it.

The inmates really are in charge of the asylum. And on tv a lazy reporter will ask some ignorant fool about it and they will say "I don't mind safety is the important thing". Really on a pbj jelly is the important thing.

Cue music, turn..., and zoom on Rod Serling....

Mayonnaise is out but Miracle Whip is A-OK.

Of course, you must understand the danger inherent in peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Peanut Butter and Jelly, known in culinary circles by its abbreviated formula "PB&J" is a member of a small class of two-component or "binary" comestibles.

Each component by itself is relatively innocuous -- the peanut butter too gummy to be enjoyable, the jelly too cloying -- but when you combine the two substances and apply pressure within an enclosed space, such as between two slices of bread, the substances intermingle, catalyzing one another until finally triggered by simple mastication into what one might term a "flavor explosion."

Realize, also, that literally millions of fanatics around the world think nothing of arming their own children with these improvised edible devices and sending them out into the world to wreak who knows what havoc.

Lolol :) Awesome job Gelf

Smuckers, Welch's and Knott's Berry Farm are objectively pro terrorist? Who Knew? Parody has met it's Waterloo.

Sometimes I think the symbol for liberals shouldn't be a donkey or an elephant, but a skinny white hippie with a smug grin on his face, sitting on top of a tall tower and firing witty jabs at the 'real people' below him with his pea shooter.

Let me walk you through this:

1. Terrorists tried to blow up a series of planes with explosives disguised in liquid/gelatinous form.
2. They were caught (thankfully).
3. Just like after the shoe bomber where they made you start taking off your shoes, now TSA is playing 'catch up' again.
4. It is, in fact, ridiculously easy to get a modern destructive device onto a plane. The only real way to prevent it would be invasive searches, high costs, etc.
5. The TSA is trying to fill this gap as best it can. I hate the security people, too, but it's a job that needs to be done.
6. If you sort through the list and look for the most stupid and ridiculous ideas you'll find some things worth laughing at. But for many of us our mental age long ago passed the point-and-giggle phase (about the time we stopped wearing Keds)
7. If you have an all-encompassing security plan to get rid of any potentially hidden explosive without having some silly-sounding rules, let's hear them.
8. If a plane blew up in midair because someone managed to sneak explosives aboard, it wouldn't be so funny.
9. Particularly if someone you loved died on that plane.

I frequently hear people like those who enthusiastically cheer every comment on this site repeat the mantra: "There's nothing to be frightened of!" Ironically, they don't seem to understand that this denial, itself, is a phase of trauma. There is something to be frightened of. Dismissing it with a wave of your hand is just as bad as overreacting to it.

There are several colorless/near-colorless gel-based stable explosives to which one could add a little food coloring . . . So they ought to be confiscating peanut-butter-and-gelly sandwiches.

So joe, how would one go about making an exploding pbj sammich? If one can make a slather of jelly explode could not pb made to explode just as easily? Or perhaps it would be as easy to cause an explosion in the uninspected cargo in the hold of the plane. Or maybe a device could be designed to explode in the checked baggage. The possibilities are endless. Perhaps we should ban airplanes, but are the ships and trains safe? You see, reactionary thinking will always remain behind the terror that plagues us. What is truly needed is dialogue and understanding, and most of all imagination! Of course there is something to be frightened of, there always was and always will be. What is needed is a real long term solution. Bandaids are applied after the damage is done. Especially if the people applying the bandages have no understanding of prevention.

-throws sandwich into trash bin-

There goes lunch...

Average_Joe said:

"about the time we stopped wearing Keds"

Wrong. Us liberal commie loving pinko Islamofascist lovin' moonbats didnt wear Keds. We laughed at the other kids who did.

Gee, so all of us who don't piss their pants everytime someone mentions the word terrorist is in a phase of trauma? There is a far greater chance of dying falling off a toilet (ask Elvis!) than dying due to a terrorist attack. And if you die due to terrorism, it is more likely that it will be that nice Christian fundie wacko up the street than one of them thar Islamofascists Rush told you about. Though it would be nice if our policies weren't working 24/7 to create as many new ones as possible. You fight ideology with better ideology, not by creating a police state. Since there is nothing that could prevent someone from impregnating clothing with explosives, what do ya recommend, flying naked? You get to sit next to the sumo wrestler. There are so many ways a clever person bent on attacking America could do so, planes aren't even particularly good ones. Life is dangerous, if you are too afraid to get out of bed, don't. Don't turn my country into a police state because you faint when someone farts. From home of the brave to depends nation on 5 short years! Subjectively they were short, anyway.

"So joe, how would one go about making an exploding pbj sammich?"

Geez, I don't know, how would you go about hijacking three planes and committing the worst act of terrorism on US soil with nothing but a few boxcutters?

How would you plan to blow up an airliner in mid-flight with a can of what looks like Crystal Pepsi?

Maybe you should acknowledge that there is a real threat out there, and dealing with it is a complicated matter?

This loose gathering of tittering jackanapes reminds me of nothing more than one of those 20's-movies high society parties. The genteel class sipping tea with their pinky out and laughing behind their hand at those stupid little people.

Nobody should let fear of terrorism incapacitate or petrify them, but mocking efforts to deal with a serious threat is just spiteful and childish. Adding insult to injury by pretending that no real threat exists - that's irresponsible and delusional.

"But it's all just a scheme to steal my vote!"

Yeah, that's rational.

"Geez, I don't know, how would you go about hijacking three planes and committing the worst act of terrorism on US soil with nothing but a few boxcutters?"

See there, even BelowAverageJoe is capable of seeing that the "official" conspiracy theory sounds awfully improbable. Woe be to Bush if he loses the Neanderthal vote . . .

Geez, I don't know, how would you go about hijacking three planes and committing the worst act of terrorism on US soil with nothing but a few boxcutters?

Well, I'm not too sure how to go about it. My mind doesn't often wander in those circles. But I do know you could prevent it simply by locking the cockpit doors.

the only way for complete security is complete control. i am comfortable not having complete security.

and of course, if they were actually serious about national security, wouldnt they implement the 911 commission's recommendations? and would they appoint people like michael brown and chertoff to important homeland security posts?

LOL @ Gelf!!!

Of course, you must understand the danger inherent in peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Peanut Butter and Jelly, known in culinary circles by its abbreviated formula "PB&J" is a member of a small class of two-component or "binary" comestibles. Each component by itself is relatively innocuous -- the peanut butter too gummy to be enjoyable, the jelly too cloying -- but when you combine the two substances and apply pressure within an enclosed space, such as between two slices of bread, the substances intermingle, catalyzing one another until finally triggered by simple mastication into what one might term a "flavor explosion." Realize, also, that literally millions of fanatics around the world think nothing of arming their own children with these improvised edible devices and sending them out into the world to wreak who knows what havoc.

The new restrictions, whether you decide to mock them or not, are an attempt to use a giant patch to fix every hole in an boat. William Saletan said it best is his The Liquid World:

The new no-liquid rules make an exception for prescription medicine. Do you think I can't make a prescription label on the color printer at my office? Do you think I can't empty and refill capsules?

How will you check my key to make sure it operates my car? Will you take it at the security gate? Will you make people leave their car keys at the airport?

We should try to defend ourselves at every reasonable level. However, when we cannot accept the fact that we are in a war without borders, governments and cease-fires, and that the war will require us to accept certain liabities, then we lose. When we allow big patches to fix the holes in the boat, we render the boat inoperable. When we accept that some water will eventually get in, we can concentrate on the little fixes. It's imparative, however, that we keep our way of life from being sunk by those trying to violently change their world. If we don't look at the big picture, becoming paranoid, then we allocate our power to the few and give up liberty for security.

I think we should all keep our heads down and obey Great Leader. Everybody knows the lethal explosives evil terrorists can make using a combination of peanut butter and jelly and a PlayStation Portable. [/sarcasm] For f$#© sakes, these people weren't even arrested at airports, they were arrested in their homes. There isn't even a way of knowing how far they got with their plot since investigative journalism is dead in the Orwellian era.

I told you some fool woul cry safety is the most important thing, no I really know that reason and freedom are the most important thing. Bush rushed the announcement of the plot by a week to try and score points for Traitor Joe Lieberman. See how little security matters and politics is the really all that matters to the bushites.

You know... as an outsider.... the whole problem about this peanut butter and jelly thing is just pure crazyness.

I still can't work out why you lunatics want to put them together in the first place.

As a member of the Exalted Order of Tittering Jackanapes, might it be possible to point out that 9/11 effectively ended the hijacking of aircraft, barring machine guns or truly effective means of intimidation? The compact between the hijackers and hijackees was broken. There is a hole outside of Shanksville, Pa., that if the official storyline is correct, proves this. Hijackees will not sit there passively knowing that they are going to die anyway. Even the threat of a bomb won't stop passengers from fighting back, as it may not be real, and they are probably going to die anyway. All of the post 9/11 police state machinations are is welding the barn doors shut after the flock is long gone. Bombs could still bring down planes, but hijacking...., doubt it. While ya'll are cringing about explosive jellies and jams, I'll be frightened by things that really do represent extreme danger. Israel is planning on assassinating the most popular man in the Islamic world, Hannan Nasrallah. Given our cheerleader in chief, we will get at least a share of the blame, and the perfect shitstorm will ensue. Next to real dangers, pb&j and this way overblown alleged hijack/bomb plot seems trivial.

"It is, in fact, ridiculously easy to get a modern destructive device onto a plane. The only real way to prevent it would be invasive searches, high costs, etc."

Sometimes I feel like security personnel have no idea what they're looking for. And then I get home after a long flight and read things like this.

I ask myself. If we can't budget new and truly innovative ways of dealing with airport security and would rather watch our security personnel scrambling in the dark, why do we expect airplane terrorist attacks to be a thing of the past? Of course things like this will be uncovered!

We're not focusing on the problem at hand, and we're not dousing the flames where they originate. We just finish our smoke, drop our cigarette, and then wait for the forest fire to approach our homes before we call in the firemen to attempt to squash the flames with their pitiful hoses.

But maybe... if we didn't let ourselves be phased by this sort of thing, realize that the risks flying are still incredibly low, and maybe actually put money into preventing this sort of thing -- in airports and more importantly IN OUR POLICIES -- maybe, just maybe terrorists wouldn't be as inclined to pull acts of violence.

I know terrorism is a world issue, but sometimes the world forgets that these people are also "freedom fighters" and the world fails to acknowledge the freedom they are fighting for. They don't, after all, hate our democracy or our rights, they're just launching back at what they perceive as wrongdoings to them by the US.

“Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety” This quote often attributed to Benjamin Franklin is 250 years old & has been heard frequently this century. Rightly so, though we don’t seem to get the message.

The best response to terrorism is to go on living our lives normally. Sure we should pursue offenders & even root out suspects of future acts, but to let the government steal our liberties & allow ourselves to be frightened by our own governments & media is to act like cattle.

In the US 3000 were killed in a terrorist act in the roughly 30 years of activity. That makes a US citizens chances of being a victim on any given day about 1 ¼ billion to 1. 50,000 to 1 in your life time. I take those chances without fear. Chances of dying while taking a shower is 25 times higher. Yet my dread of bathing is mild at worst. You’re 5 times more likely to intentionally kill yourself. Driving to the 7-11 for your next pack of cigarettes & a Beef Stick are 3 acts much more lethal than terrorists.

Get some perspective people. We are secure. We are safe. It’s very safe to say; the “Axis of Evil” ain’t gonna getcha.