Only In Utah
Who wants a DVD player that automatically deletes all the juicy bits of movies? One guess
Mark Morford provides another contribution to my ONLY IN UTAH series.
Because what the world really needs now is more uptight little companies from Utah that will help us all block out the random messy naked blood n' guts of the world.
[snip]
This is what is happening. This is the happy godlike agenda of Utah's ClearPlay, a twee and shrill little corporation that has taken it upon itself to sit around the cube farm all day and watch countless Hollywood flicks and zap out any and all icky violent suggestive material in, say, "Lost In Translation." For your protection. How kind.
ClearPlay has, thank the Lord Almighty, developed a method that automatically bleeps out and/or completely skips over words, scenes and entire sections of Hollywood films it has deemed offensive or inappropriate, and displays the rest in sanitized, defanged, nipple-free form, so you won't ever find yourself having to explain to your precious wide-eyed heavily Ritalined 8-year-old just exactly what part of Penelope Cruz Tom Cruise is sucking in that one part of "Vanilla Sky." I mean, praise Jesus.
[snip
What a fabulous idea. Dammit, if only more companies would get into the act of protecting us from the crap put out by other, more heartless companies.
And then if only someone would launch a company to protect us from the crap put out by the company that is ostensibly protecting us from crap put out by the first company. Why, you'd never have to think for yourself ever again. What a wonderful world.
Comments
Anybody able to get the out-takes. When I called they were on back order.
I fail to understand Mr Morford's objections to this. What's it to him what I want to see?
How 'bout some tolerance from this guy? Suppose page 42 of my favorite book reads "Mike Jensen is a jerk; a complete kneebiter. May he swallow endless gallons of chopped fetid dingo's kidneys while gargling the tune to Barney forever." So I skip page 42 because it offends me. What's it to him? It's my book, I've bought it, I have the right to look at whatever parts of it I want to. Sure maybe I'm missing out on the artistic-ness of the experience as a whole but it's my loss, after all, and nobody's business but my own.
This "twee and shrill little corporation" just like any other has seen a market and is trying to make a buck offa it. Long live America. Git of yer high horse, Mark Morford, and dish out some tolerance like you San Francisco folks are always talkin' 'bout. Nobody's trying to take you away from the joy of Kate Winslet's nipples. Just don't expect us all to be as fascinated with them as you are.
I don't think he so much objects to it as he finds it bizarre. He is amused by the practice. He's poking fun at those that are so offended they would take the time to edit the material. I also think he is also concerned about the broader implications of censorship. There are those who believe their "morality" is the "correct" one and want to impose their view on others. Something that seems less far-fetched with Ashcroft in office than it did in the past. I mostly just find it amusing.