It began quietly enough two weeks ago when the first SUV was found on its side. "I had just finished breakfast," said Mike. I was going to take my daughter to school no way I'm going to have her walk the block and a half, temperatures in the forties, terrorists, well you understand. I had left the car in the driveway, who wouldn't, a new Explorer. I wanted the neighbors to see how much I love my family. I came out the front door and there it was sitting on its side. I can tell you I was shocked. I've never seen anything like it. I called the police they figure it was just a prank by some homesick farm boys, no cows in Glendale you see. They called the tow truck they had it upright in no time, but I sure do hate the scratches on the side. I want to find the bastards that did this. Like I said that was just the beginning in the past week the "fad" has swept the nation. SUV owners across the country have come out of their homes, grocery stores only to find their SUV on their sides. Mabel Smith of Chicago, said I parked my Escalade in the same two parking spaces I always use, and when I returned from shopping there it was lying on its side. I have friends that have had the same thing happen to them and it’s not funny. Some in the country are taking it much more seriously. John Ashcroft is said to be investigating possible terrorist ties. Arianna Huffington hasn't been seen since Monday, her friends are worried. The president has said this has got to stop. Our nation is at war. Our citizens have to be able to get to work. It all started in California and has now reached Washington D.C. I tipped a cow or two in my time, damn fun I must say, said the President, but there are no cows in our cities. It was a coming of age thing for me but we're talking about SUVs. Our nation relies on these vehicles; our military relies on these vehicles. Conspiracy theorists are certain that if not organized by terrorists it was certainly inspired by them. Homeland Security director Tom Ridge is now driving an orange Trail Blazer he suggests using duct-tape to attach your SUV to a nearby tree or post but it hasn’t worked. The vehicles ended up on their sides in spite of the effort and the tape often removed paint from the body. Many in government had just laughed at the first tippings but now they are becoming victims. Karl Rove's wife was trapped in their SUV on the Maryland Parkway for three hours. I was just sitting there she said. Traffic had come to a stop and all of sudden I was on my side. I was buckled in so I wasn't injured but it scared the hell out of me. John Ashcroft went berserk when he found both his Explorer and Navigator on their sides in his driveway. Enemy combatants, he said. I catch the bastards that did this and they're mine. If they're Americans I'll strip them of their citizenship. Dubya worried about the coming war. We don't know if there are tippers in Iraq, but I've ordered the manufacturer of Hummers to put additional stabilizing bars in any Hummers destined for the war. The current theory is that the anti-war movement is responsible, damming evidence uncovered today confirmed that all the tipped cars came to rest on their right side. How else do you explain that said Ashcroft. Today as suddenly as it began it stopped. Arianna returned home, confused and tired. The investigations are continuing and the President requests all Americans to remain observant If you see anything out of the ordinary just dial 1 800 NEW TIPS. Update: The Wall Street Journal confirmed today that the market for SUVs has collapsed. Americans are unwilling to take a chance on SUVs. Sales of Hybrids are booming. Detroit has vowed to modify designs across their model line creating more stable fuel-efficient cars. Who would have thought something as seemingly harmless as SUV tipping could transform our nation