You've got to hand it that President of ours. I've called him a doofuss a dumbfuck and much worse, but I was wrong. In a Washington D.C. press conference the President announced that the United States and the Republic of Iraq have ironed out their differences. Secret negotiations have been taking place for the past few months. The talks were tough and thorough said Colin Powell, the erstwhile Secretary of State, who many thought was being snubbed by the President but who was actually on a secret mission to save the United States and the World from mortal danger. "It's always been about more than bombs, bugs, and super strength Mr.Clean" Colin said. The United States has agreed to withdraw troops from the area in a staged pull out over the next few months. Iraq for its part has agreed to the immediate construction of five new McDonalds followed by a minimum of one new franchise a month. Iraqi security forces are being fitted for new Nike Cross Trainers. "It's important to take care of your men" Sadamn remarked. An important concession by the Iraqis that made the deal possible was their agreement to show Survivor Series reruns on local television. Sadamn said "I'm happy to do it bin Laden's rating's have been dropping ever since he went into hiding. He really sucks, the same thing every show an AK-47 and I hate American, boring. A last minute hitch almost scuttled the agreement, but Sadamn in a show of real compassion agreed to purchase all of the Enron stock Dubya hadn't been able to unload. "It's the least I can do for a friend", he said. George asked if he was letting his father down by coming to terms with Sadamn said, "what are you talking about Daddy just purchased foreign rights to Survivor. He'll do all right. Right-wing Americans were dismayed. What about his nukes, his ... There was a lot of stuttering going on. The Warbloggers were beside themselves, what will we write about they chimed. George reassured them all, "you probably don't remember this it is one of the stories my papa told me as child, but a Russian named Kruschev came to the United Nations and pounded his shoe on the desk. If a nut like that can have nukes and not use them why should we be worried about a guy that enjoys a Big Mac and Fries Supersized. The New York Times headline this evening reads. "You deserve a break today, US Iraq agree."