Dubya, reportedly vacationing in Texas is actually at Bethesda Naval Hospital undergoing gene therapy. The press first became suspicious when someone at the ranch claiming to be the President was able to string two coherent sentences together. The therapy is based on research from scientists that found the first of many genes that give humans speech. The research discovered that a "mistake" in the letters of the DNA code causes a rare disorder in humans marked by severe language and grammar difficulties. Members of the Presidents staff immediately began investigating the possibility that it could help the President. The mutation influences the ability to speak clearly. It doesn't remove the capacity for speech completely, which may explain how George has been able to get by for so long. Changes in two single letters of the DNA code provide the ability to communicate more clearly. An analysis of Dubya's DNA revealed that he has changes in only one of the two letters. Our sources report that before therapy began George said, "don't misunderestimate the significance of one letter, back when I was younger I missed the episode of Sesame Street that was sponsored by the letter "G"." The letter "G" coincidentally was the letter that hadn't changed, and was passed on directly from his father. Further reports quote the President as saying, "If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all, but now I'm getting the letter I was missing and after, God bless America, I'll be able to read the speeches they write for me, and I'll be able to speak more better." Doctors reported that after the therapy everything was looking good. George's first word was CGATAAGCTCCGAATTTCGAT. Now that's good news.