Kellner on ad skipping:

"Your contract with the network when you get the show is you're going to watch the spots. Otherwise you couldn't get the show on an ad-supported basis. Any time you skip a commercial or watch the button you're actually stealing the programming."

Kellner on bathroom breaks:

"I guess there's a certain amount of tolerance for going to the bathroom. But if you formalize it and you create a device that skips certain second increments, you've got that only for one reason, unless you go to the bathroom for 30 seconds. They've done that just to make it easy for someone to skip a commercial."

From Interview by Staci D. Krammer of CEO Jamie Kellner of Turner Broadcasting.

First seen here Jak's piece on The Inevitable Logic of "Free" TV

There is a contract between the network and the advertiser there may soon be a more formal contract between the network and the viewer. One day soon you may sit down in front of your TV and see the following:

In order to view this program it is required that you watch the commercials. To that end you certify that you have read this contract and agree to the following:

1. I have already been to the bathroom.
   1. I will not begin watching a television program in a condition; medical or otherwise, that requires me to relieve myself more than once an hour.
   2. I promise to keep my consumption of beverages at a level that won't require me to violate 1a.
2. I got a good nights sleep and promise that I won't be drifting off during the program.
   1. If I see others in the room that appear to be sleeping I will keep them awake through whatever means necessary not limited to simple poking and prodding.
3. I promise that in the case of an emergency (we're human) I will turn the volume up so that I can at least hear the message of the advertiser and upon return I will replay my taped version. (Note from network we believe in fair use.)
4. I promise never to remove commercials from programs I record for later viewing. Doing so is not fair use. There is nothing fair about your advertiser losing money.
5. If the product advertised is really one that you would never use (be honest now) you are required to tape said commercial and play it for someone with the proper demographics.
6. I promise that if I require glasses to properly view the program I'm wearing them.
7. I promise the volume will be maintained at a level that I can clearly hear the content. If I require a hearing aid I certify that I'm wearing it and that I will not turn down the volume at any time. (note we are sensitive to the problems of the hearing impaired and automatically increase the volume during commercials as a public service to you.)
8. I promise that if I don't completely understand and agree with any commercial that I will provide my email address for additional information on the product. (note this is another free service we provide there will be no additional charge for material we send you.)
9. I understand that if I fail to follow the terms of this contract that I am stealing and that stealing is evil.
10. I acknowledge that if I steal I am an evildoer and know what happens to evildoers.

Disclaimer: The network is not responsible for any adverse effects suffered as a result of the use of products advertised on this program including but not limited to diarrhea, obesity, boredom. Nor do we warrant the accuracy or truthfulness of anything you see here. For purposes of this contract it is all considered fiction. (note fiction only in the sense of covering our Asses, not in the sense that its fiction don't buy the products.) This contract may be modified at any time at the discretion of the network but may not be altered in anyway by the viewer. (note It's our content god damn it.)

I have read the above and agree. I understand that if I'm not with you I'm against you. (see evildoer note above)

Thank you for your attention, now sit back and enjoy the commercials programming. The Network