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Two Minutes

There was a recent post on MetaFilter about ABC digitally altering the James Bond Movie "Diamonds Are Forever". It's funny how uptight people are about anything sexual. At the National Open, a chess tournament usually held in Las Vegas each year. I was sharing a room with three other chess players, one was a good Mormon, and always a little uncomfortable with the Las Vegas reputation. We talked about what shows we might want to see while there and Jeff made it clear that he wasn't interested in that sort of thing. We teased him a little, but then had to head down to the tournament for the first round of play. My game lasted longer than the others and when I got back to the room. John was checking out the adult movie previews on the television. You could watch approximately two minutes of a movie without having to make a commitment to pay for it. Jeff protested, saying why would anyone watch such crap, but he didn't leave, and his attention seemed to be riveted on the TV. I smiled, and said, "better watch out Jeff that stuff is addictive". He said, "well I'm not really watching it. I was just thinking. I'd forgotten it was even on". Right I thought. We all went to get a bite to eat then to the convention area where the tournament was being held. The games lasted late into the night. Tournament Chess is a timed event. A tournament like the National Open will have a time control of 40 moves in 2 hours and game in 1 hour. That means each player has two hours to play the first 40 moves and if the game is not over you enter a sudden death time control, which allows an hour for each player to complete the game. Most games are 40 moves or less but a substantial number extends well beyond that, and a single round lasts from four to six hours. I once had a game of 92 moves before sudden death time controls were adopted which lasted over nine hours. We were all tired when we got back to the room and since the morning round was scheduled for 8:00 a.m. we quickly fell asleep. I'm not sure why I woke up, but as I rolled over I noticed the TV was on. I remember thinking, I wonder who left that on and was about to get up and turn it off when I saw Jeff sitting quietly on the edge of his bed completely absorbed in the adult fare. I watched quietly for some time as he watched two-minute segments of the entire list of well, humper movies, switching from one to the other just before he would have to order the entire movie. I eventually got bored watching him, and rolled over and went back to sleep. The next day we all won our games except Jeff who lost both of his. I guess Jeff was right when he said it was a bad idea to get involved with that sort of entertainment, it certainly was for him.

Note: The names have been changed to protect the guilty.



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